Children need to be taught how to be alert to certain behaviors and what to do if they notice these behaviors. If an adult or older child/teenager says or does the following things, the child should know exactly who to contact in all circumstances and how to communicate their concerns. Children often do not tell about feeling uncomfortable with a person or about abuse because they don't know who to tell or how to tell about it. Training and practice can help them be comfortable with reporting these feelings.
Alert List for Children (adapted from Meinig & Saunders, 1995):
- An adult or older child or teenager treats you different from other children.
- He or she wants to spend time alone with you and makes excuses to go place when and where other people are not around.
- He or she asks you do things that involve physical contact, such as giving backrubs or washing your back.
- They do things that involve physical contact, such as giving you a backrub, massaging you, or want to help you wash.
- They accidentally-on-purpose touch your private parts, such as brushing against your breast while wrestling or rub their body against yours.
- He or she looks at or touches your body, saying that they are inspecting it to see how you are developing.
- He or she puts lotion or ointment on you when your mother and others are not around, even when there is nothing wrong that requires lotion.
- They accidentally-on-purpose coming into your room while you are undressed or in the bathroom.
- They do not respect your privacy, do not knock when entering your room, or do not allow you to close the door to your bedroom or the bathroom when you are in there.
- They ask questions or accuse you of sexual things between you and your boyfriend (teenagers).
- He or she teaches you about sex by showing you pornographic pictures or showing you his body or touching yours.
- He or she says sexual things to you about your body or about how you dress.
- They talk to you about sexual things that they have done.
- He tells you private things that involve his wife/your mother.
- He says that you are special, different, the only one that understands him, and better than your mother/his wife.
- He treats you like an adult, and he acts like a kid.
- He gives you special privileges or favors so that you feel you owe him something.
- He is meaner to you than he is to others.
- He does not let you have friends or do things that other children/teenagers your age do.
- He tells you not to tell your mother or other people about things that happen between you and him.
- He comes into your bedroom at night.
- He or she accidentally-on-purpose lets the bathrobe open or walks around without clothes on.