The needs of
mothers are rarely the focus of professionals following
disclosure of
child sexual abuse. Meeting the needs of the
child victim is primary, and mothers are expected to provide emotional and physical
support to the abused child. However, if the mother is to effectively fulfill that role, her own needs must be addressed. She needs help in dealing with her emotions and making adjustments to her life following the disclosure.
The needs of mothers include:
- Basic information about sexual abuse and about surviving the post-disclosure process: expected effects of abuse on victim; involvement with law enforcement, court, and counseling; mother's grief and emotional response
- Someone to talk to: friend or family member, mentor, spiritual advisor
- Counseling and medical support for physical and mental health
- Knowledge about the abuse incident: what, when, where, how often, and the child's reaction
- Space away from the perpetrator
- To be acknowledged and listened to by professionals working with the family
- To feel respected
- To regain control of their minds and lives
- To understand how sexual abuse and domestic violence are related but are separate issues
- Support in making decisions: to separate or divorce, to move, to tell family members and friends
- To know about options regarding parent custody, no-contact orders, restraining orders
- To understand Child Protective Services and protective custody orders
- To know how children can be expected to react, both child victim and siblings
- To know how to take steps in changing the environment, protecting the victim and siblings from further abuse.