Mothers experience secondary victimization because of the ongoing relationship they have with the primary
victim. The
sexual abuse of a child presents with ongoing and perhaps life-long
consequences to mothers, as well as child victims. Mothers observe and are pained by the
current problems and
grief reactions their children experience after sexual abuse, and they fear
future consequences. Schneider (2001) refers to mothers of sexually abused children as co-victims. The disclosure of sexual abuse in a child results in an identity crisis for the mother, affecting her
self-esteem, sense of competence in
parenting victims and
siblings, and trust in her judgment. Because of this,
decision-making,
assertiveness, and sense of autonomy are negatively impacted.
The sexual abuse of a child can have a profound effect on the
mother-child relationship, depending on the identity of the
perpetrator and the length of the time over which the abuse occurred. This effect can occur long before the mother knows about the abuse. If the child thinks that the mother knows about the abuse, and it continues, the child will be
angry with the mother without the mother's awareness. If the
perpetrator is the
father, and he has
threatened the child with statements about the mother, this will affect the mother-child relationship. If the father has set up a dynamic of the child becoming the "adult partner" in the home and taking care of him, even if the mother is not aware, the child may grow to blame and hate her. Unfortunately, when the child believes that the mother should know and protect her, and the mother does not do this, the blame shifts away from the offender to the mother.
The manner in which
agencies and professionals intervene with mothers and address
family and
victim issues is another source of revictimization. Mothers are often not viewed as suffering in any significant manner. The
grief and painful reactions they experience as a result of their child's abuse is not honored and addressed. Expectations for their behaviors and coping abilities are high, and tolerance for
stress and
trauma responses low. Mothers may be
judged as incompetent if they demonstrate reactions of acute
stress or
emotionality .
The losses to mothers are large and significant. Mothers may lose their children, families, extended family members, homes, financial security, and
self-esteem. Losses impact every area of the mother's life and may extend over time throughout the mother's life. She may perceive herself a failure in mothering, and if she finds meaning and purpose in mothering, she may experience despair and hopelessness. It is possible that the secondary victimization will continue long into the future if the child continues to experience
long-term consequences of the sexual abuse.