Disclosure occurs when the child reveals the
secret of
sexual abuse. She may tell a friend, a sibling, or a "safe" adult. However it happens, disclosure begins the next stage of sexual abuse. Painful and confusing events may occur after the child tells about the sexual abuse. This is why it is so important for mothers to provide
support to the child following disclosure. It is
critical that the child be
believed and
protected.
Sexual abuse is disclosed at different
levels. Most children do not tell about the abuse. Of those who do disclose, many factors influence the disclosure. These include
perpetrator threats,
sibling or other
family member pressure, and
fear of consequences of telling the secret. Sometimes the disclosure is accidental, and the child did not intend to tell the secret. Sometimes it is a very gradual process in which the child tells just a little at a time, maybe a few words in an unrelated conversation.The child may also tell the secret as if it was someone else who was being sexually abused.
The child fears that she will not be believed, and she will observe the response of the adult and judge whether to continue telling or change the story. If the
mother overreacts, the child may shut down, and the disclosure will not occur. The mother must be careful and loving and wise in her responses. She needs to focus on listening and supporting her child and managing her own emotions. The mother will need to access
support later, but first must address the needs of the
victim.
A predictable result of the disclosure is the denial of the
offender who knows that serious consequences may occur if he admits. Offenders may deny vehemently, may undermine the child's story, and may accuse the child of other behaviors, making the account of sexual abuse less believable.
The
abuse disclosure stage is very difficult for mothers.
Initial reactions in mothers include
shock,
denial,
anger,
guilt, and
depression. The mother is angry because her child was abused and is angry at the abuser. She is confused and hurt and worried and afraid. She knows the
effects and possible
long-term consequences of the abuse to her child and also knows the
consequences of reporting. She must have the strength and courage to report the abuse and follow through with necessary legal actions. This is the time when mothers need the most
support.