A mother will initially respond to the
disclosure of a
child's sexual abuse with
shock and
denial. She may have already
suspected that something was wrong, and it may be a relief to know what is going on. However, mothers normally progress through a range of strong
negative emotions. These include
anger,
guilt,
depression,
anxiety,
fear, confusion, and
ambivalence .
Non-offending mothers in homes where
incest has occurred or mothers who have a child who was sexual abused by
someone outside the family will both experience major changes in their lives. They will experience internal
stressors related to the abuse and their process. Their
common negative thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and
relationships are impacted. They may have external stressors caused by system demands -
law enforcement,
social services, and the
court. The mother's
ability to manage the initial crisis of disclosure will affect the
victim's recovery and contribute to the functioning of the rest of the
family.
Both
victim and
siblings require the continued ability of mothers to fulfill their roles as primary caregivers.
Maternal support is the best predictor of reduced
short and
long-term consequences of sexual abuse in the victim's life. Mothers must provide support, security, and comfort to the victim. Social service agencies will observe the mother's
mental health - her ability to cope and function - and include this in factors used to determine decisions related to family
intervention and providing protective services to the victim and other children in the family.
Defense mechanisms involve a variety of responses which can change the ways a mother views the abuse, the perpetrator, the victim, and herself. These defense mechanisms can be either adaptive or maladaptive.
Effective coping skills allow mothers conscious awareness of feelings, thoughts, and consequences of the sexual abuse and enable them to think through to problem solutions and healthy decisions.
Ineffective coping skills distort reality and keep mothers out of touch with 1) the fact of sexual abuse, 2) the consequences to victims, 3) the mother's own feelings, 4) effects of sexual abuse on siblings and other family members, and 5) safety issues and protection of victims and other children.
The use of effective coping skills results in enhanced physical and mental health. The use of ineffective coping skills results in compromised physical and mental health. The mother's use of healthy coping skills contributes to the victim's safety and recovery, the safety and stability of other children in the family, and the family's function. Healthy coping skills enable mothers to process through the
post-disclosure process without the situation becoming worse. The goal of coping skills is to survive the crisis without making it worse by choices made during the crisis.